Treatment, Nausea, Faith, and Tears

Hello Again Everyone-

After seeing the oncologist on Thursday, Feb. 7th, Brooke had another chemo treatment on Friday.  Remarkably, her white blood cell counts were completely normal on Thursday -- not just up from the previous week (when they were virtually nonexistent), but actually in the normal range.  This was a direct answer to prayers.  Because the counts were up, the decision was made to continue treatment.

Though he made the decision to move forward with chemo, the doctor was concerned with what had happened during the previous cycle with her white blood cell counts that ultimately landed her in the hospital.  Because of that concern, he changed a couple of things.

First, he reduced her chemo dose by 25%.  Second, he prescribed an antibiotic that Brooke will take several days after each of her chemo treatments to try to ward off any infection going forward.

The reduced dosage of chemo was beneficial in at least one way:  shorter treatment time.  On Friday, the actual drip time for the chemo was just over an hour.  We had hoped that the reduced dosage might also translate into reduced side effects, but unfortunately that hasn't been the case.  On the contrary, for the last few days, Brooke has been more nauseated than at any time previously.

We're not sure why the nausea has been so bad this time and we called the nurse who manages patient care this afternoon to see what we could do.  The nurse made a couple of suggestions, but so far Brooke is still very sick.  If she doesn't feel better in the morning, they want her to go in for fluids and additional nausea medication to try to help things out.  We'll see how she feels overnight, but at this point I expect we'll be back at the clinic and she'll be hooked up to the iv in the morning.  

The constant, severe nausea has taken a bit of a toll on Brooke, and I'm hoping and praying it will turn around pretty soon, not just so that she'll feel better physically, but also because it's discouraging for her too.  

One of the significant differences for Brooke going through this experience now compared to her 1998 cancer experience is that her parents aren't around to help the way they were the first time (as most of you know, they both passed away in 2010).  Despite the fact that there are many people who love and care for her, there's really no one who can take the place of your Mom, and she was particularly feeling that earlier tonight.

Brooke was laying on the couch tonight and she and I were talking about that very thing, when Lisa came by and noticed that her Mom was a little teary-eyed.  Lisa asked her Mom what was wrong, and Brooke told her that sometimes, no matter how old you are, you just want your Mommy.  With absolutely no hesitation and with perfect faith, Lisa said "She's still with you Mom -- she is."  Lisa then spent a few minutes hugging Brooke and drying her tears.  As Lisa was heading off to bed, she kissed her Mom on the top of the head and said: "Grandma and Grandpa will always be with you."

Tomorrow Brooke and I will celebrate our 26th wedding anniversary.  Well, we probably won't "celebrate" in the normal sense of the word, but I'm glad we'll be together and couldn't be more grateful to still be with my best friend.  Brooke is an extraordinary person and a wonderful companion, a person of amazing faith and goodness.  It was sweet tonight to watch Lisa reflect some of that faith and goodness back to her.

Best to each of you-

John